Divorce can be messy. It is difficult for everybody involved, especially for the children. This is only one reason among many why you might be having second doubts about divorce and why you might be delaying it.
Yes, divorce carries with it an emotional and financial burden. Would you rather take a stand now and move forward to a better life? Why divorce now? There are several reasons why divorce will change your life for the better, if you do it now.
Staying in an unhappy marriage leads to Depression.
Being with someone you love and imagined you would spend your whole life with is every person’s idea of a perfect marriage. Take the opposite of that, and it paints an ugly picture, which disturbs your sleep, waking hours, and inner peace. An unhappy marriage is a heavy burden to bear. It is cause for further unhappiness in an already unhappy union.
“Divorce is a terrible, terrible season in every person’s life. It is like being cut from the cord of life, or so it seems. But the truth is that, that ‘cord of life’ has been severed already by the involved parties, the time your loved one gave you cause for unmitigated and intentional pain. Whatever the cause for an unhappy and irreconcilable union, divorce is the only answer,” Melissa Thomas, therapist and divorce coach strongly advised.
She likens the uncertainty in divorce to that felt at the beginning of a relationship. The transition causes anxiety and uncertainty.
“It might be very scary like a storm looming overhead. It is sure to be harsh, but if you want to move forward and experience again a ‘normal, happy life’, you need to decide to get divorced as soon as, now. If you wait too long, you’ll get crushed by the heavy blows of wasted time and energy spent on a relationship that cannot be restored… it cannot be fixed anymore,” Thomas further observed.
Ending a bad marriage saves you money.
Living separately from an estranged spouse does not let you off the hook in many financial ways. Marriage may impose some of those debts upon, if they were for marital purposes. Through the discovery process, it will become clear what debts were martial and what were not for marital purposes.
What if your name is on a lease or a parcel of property and your estranged spouse did not pay the taxes or mortgage? These are things that can be dealt with during the divorce process, either by agreement or by filing the appropriate application with the Court. An spendthrift ex’s bad behavior could put you at an disadvantage by damaging your credit, preventing you from buying new property, investing in something, and liquidating assets to acquire new ones.
Simply put, continuing to stay married puts your hard-earned money in your ex’s pocket with the privilege of spending it for his or her own enjoyment and satisfaction. Until you can take precautionary measures to protect yourself by filing for divorce, you are giving your ex rights over your money, assets, properties, and valuable acquisitions. You are not financially cut off from your spouse until your Complaint for Divorce was filed.
Worse, what happens if you suddenly die? An updated Last Will & Testament might prevent your ex from getting the bulk of your assets so long as they are properly devised in your will. Your matrimonial attorney can help you draft an updated Last Will & Testament.
Not filing and waiting too long sabotages your chances to receive your fair share of assets, alimony, and support in the long run.
Most divorces are complicated. It may be unlikely that it will be a situation wherein you say, ‘I’ll take mine and you take yours’. Post separation, the longer the time taken until you file for divorce, the more difficult it will be to recoup spousal support or reimbursements. Sorting out who paid for what is downright frustrating after you comingled marital assets with your own earnings. You will have to prove what you paid for, how much, and was it reasonable compared to the lifestyle you enjoyed while married. Getting credit for your share of a down payment on a marital home is a prime example. This is another reason why the discovery process is important during a divorce. It will provide a trail of how assets were acquired and how money was spent.
Moreover, what if you have been using separate funds to pay for your health insurance premium or another bill on your ex’s behalf? Are you paying for your spouse’s student loans and want a credit for any payments? This can be complicated and the longer you wait to file for divorce, the longer you will be continuing what might be an unfair and inequitable situation. You wouldn’t want all of these credits or reimbursements that you are seeking to fall on the deaf ears of a Judge, when it rightly belongs to you.
Finally, if you sacrificed your earnings in order to support your spouse in their professional endeavors, you might have a claim for alimony, more specifically reimbursement alimony. While the longer you are married, your term of support may be extended, you are risking the possibility that your need for alimony to support yourself is less.
Your children will survive the divorce.
Children who witness and experience unhealthful conflict and destructive patterns of parental and spousal behavior in an unhappy union or marriage will likely suffer more feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, and uncertainty. Protecting them from having to witness and experience such things should be foremost in your mind. Prolonging an unhappy marriage makes it more difficult for them to adjust in this new family status or ground. How you separate with your estranged spouse is the key to determine how the children will manage in the future. Keep the separation between you and your ex amicable or civil and reassure your children that you are with them in this new stage of their lives, and that your relationship with them is your priority. Show them you are not leaving them behind with this past stage of your life, and you will be assured that they will come out fine.
Cost, Time, and Conflict – a necessary evil.
You may hear stories about someone’s amicable and quick divorce. It is important to remember that each case is different, and that friend might be ashamed to tell you the full story of how their divorce went. If you are backed and supported by a competent and skilled divorce lawyer, you and your ex are more likely to have an amicable and low-conflict divorce. Amicable divorces will still have thier share of unnecessary squabbles leading to a few court appearances. That’s normal. If you both were truly amicable, you probably wouldn’t be divorcing! Most couples who file for divorce want the process to go quickly, smoothly, and without unnecessary litigation.
Let’s face it, divorce was not what you envisioned for your marriage. As your matrimonial divorce attorneys, we are ready and able to provide an = exceptional client experience so that you can concentrate on how you are going to spend the next chapter of your life and not dwell on the past. We are here and available to put your mind at ease and be there at every stage of litigation.
Stay educated, stay informed about the divorce process, research, and do your homework. It is always important to listen to the recommendations of your attorney. Now is the time to feel empowered and start a new life. Life will go on. Take charge of your life!